The Sa-Matra - VUX Quotes - Star Control 3

Welcome to our ship, Captain. May I direct your attention to Admiral DOX on Salacia 2 for all your questions.

Hello? Hello? Hello? Is our GOOD FRIEND the human there? Oh. There you are! My viewscreen must not have been working. How pleasant to look upon you again.

Greetings, Captain of the League of Sentient Races. Greetings from the Vux colonists. I, Admiral DOX, welcome you to our colony. We were wondering when you would get here.

I'm here now. Give me an update on your status, DOX.

Vux power plants operate at peak efficiency, of course. We had quite a successful roll- out of our extraordinary ship, the Intruder, and we are ready to cause immense torrents of pain in all who irritate the Vux. Er, the League!

Ah, that's great, DOX.

I'll just help myself to those Intruders.

Please help yourself. Nothing we like more than to give the fruits of our labor to our GOOD FRIEND the human.

Well, OK, then.

I'm glad you have changed your ways from when you were a vicious member of the Hierarchy.

Yes, yes, yes. That's all behind us. We are no longer revolted at the sight of humans and other sentients. See? I have been looking upon you for, oh, MINUTES without gagging on my own stomach acids!

Good, because during the war I had to show you Vux the error of your bigoted ways, and I'd hate to have to stomp you again.

Captain! You wound us! We Vux seek only peaceful coexistence with you. We are GLEEFUL members of the League. We seek only the best for our GOOD FRIEND.

Good.

I'm glad to hear you say that. Because the League needs every race if we're going to stabilize the galaxy.

Ah, that's great.

We will need lots of habitable worlds with great resources in order to assist you best. We'd like to make sure that you allocate plenty of resources to us.

Yeah, sure. We have some questions.

PLEASE inform the Vux of the manner in which we can best assist our GOOD FRIEND the human Captain.

I've come for some Intruders.

I really don't see how we can keep producing enough to satisfy you when you allocate so FEW resources to us! But you can take some.

Tell me about the Vux Intruders.

The Intruder is only the most exquisite fighting vessel. From its resplendent front laser to its organic limpets, it is the model of perfection.

The limpets home in on an enemy ship, and clamp on, slowing the enemy. Rather than trying match our enemies' speeds, we slow ships down. We enjoy obstructing their progress and functioning. What a delight to watch their frustration!

Tell me about the history of the Vux.

You know our history! You were... er, excuse me. Now then, allow me to regale you with the amazing saga of the Vux.

We were a mighty starfaring race even before the coming of the Ur-Quan. The Hierarchy forced us to maim and destroy and enslave other worlds.

Do you think for a moment that we enjoyed it? Well, perhaps just a little... But what we really enjoy is working for you!

Get on with the story.

Go on.

Anyway, working with the Ur-Quan was difficult, because so many races were so very nauseating to the Vux. But we managed. However, then we met the humans, who were a whole new dimension in ugliness.

You were so repulsive... and by you I mean ALL humans, of course... You were so repulsive that we hated you on sight.

We pretended that we were mortally offended by a rude insult made by the first humans we met, and used the insult as an excuse to justify our hate. But then we met you!

Go on.

You were flying around in your previous Precursor vessel. You seem to have a habit of having lots of Precursor vessels... The Vux fought you, but just couldn't quite fully pulverize you! Ahem.

All we wanted was to STOP LOOKING at you! But you kept on apologizing for the insult! Over and over again! We had to keep looking at you. Finally we broke down and confessed that we would never join you.

Not because of any insult, but because of your vomitous appearance!

Go on.

But your persistence also allowed you to learn the whereabouts of that monstrous Vux pervert, Admiral ZEX, who was so twisted that he actually LIKED the look of HUMANS!

The wicked ZEX actually helped you to defeat the Hierarchy! But now we are your allies and all that foolishness is forgotten!

Are you really over your prejudices?

It is true that we were once disgusted by you. But now the sight of your face is so... pleasing.

The way the smooth skin is creased around the two tiny eye-sockets and the way the feed-hole gapes open with corners upturned to reveal internal nubs of calcified bone protrusions just makes me -hurk- excuse me, makes me so HAPPY!

Yes, happy. So you see, we cannot be bigoted against you anymore.

How is it that you were able to overcome such deep-seated bigotry against other races?

Oh, we overcame our, er, bigotry, through pure thoughts, clean living, and hard work. Speaking of hard work, we need to work HARDER! We need more resources and more worlds to really work hard!

REALLY hard work consists of making do with what you have. Now back to questions.

Very well. Just answer some more questions.

I see. Now I have other questions.

Good. Now I have other questions.

What do you know about the Precursors and Rainbow Worlds?

The Precursors were old and powerful, but not too powerful to keep from dying. So they are useless! And Rainbow Worlds? Sparkly baubles.

Greetings, to the Captain, who is our GOOD FRIEND!

Captain, we want more worlds! We clearly have fewer, on average, than the other races.

Captain, we want better worlds than these, and better resources!

OK. We'll give you more.

That's all you get! Like it or lump it.

Whatever happened to camaraderie in the ranks? It is sadly lacking here!

We all have to pull together for the good of the League!

That's all we ever hear anymore.

You Vux are very understanding. We ask you to be understanding a little longer.

Oh, very well. For NOW.

You selfish jerks! Shut up and listen.

See you later, Admiral.

Later. Later is good.

The Mycon report that you have been raiding them!

Lies! Fallacious lies dreamed up by some barely sentient fungus!

They say they saw you.

It is a vicious lie! There is no proof of this! How could we travel to their worlds without HyperSpace?

That will do for now. But I'm keeping my eyes open.

Don't remind me of your DUAL eye! It- er, never mind. Uh, did you have other questions?

We have discovered that you Vux HAVE been raiding the Mycon! Why?

I know nothing about this. It must be an illusion!

A what?

Elder space gods making illusions to tear apart the League! You should be careful not to be so gullible.

Look! The Vux ships I fought were no illusion!

Then it must be Vux renegades. You know, a few rotten Zagfruit can spoil the whole goulash!

How could these Renegades to travel between worlds with HyperSpace gone?

I do not know. I'll look into it.

You do that.

Have you any other questions?

Yes.

Good point. I have some other questions.

No. Goodbye.

The Utwig say that you are anti-League, and out to betray us.

Oh really? And how do they know this?

Their Ultron said so.

Oh, their Ultron! Well, if their little religious TOY says so, it MUST be true! Oh, MY! The ULTRON! Er... of course, you realize that was just sarcasm.

Well, not MEAN sarcasm. More like irony. No, more like a light-hearted laugh with my GOOD FRIEND the Captain!

Never mind all that. Are you anti-League?

Do you intend to betray us?

Never you mind how. Are you anti-League?

Captain! You wound me. Here we Vux have overcome millennia of hating other races, here we are, far from home, here we are helping you, and what do you offer us in return? Accusations!

Just answer the question.

Captain, we LOVE the League. I would prove it with a big, wet osculation, but you are too far away. We'll be watching you.

OK. Forget it. We have other questions.

What do you know about the Eternal Ones?

Who? What?

The Ultron has been stolen from the Utwig. Did you take it?

Can we help it if anything is missing? Why are we always blamed? Maybe they lost it! Maybe they became embarrassed over taking advice from an old toy! This is anti-Vux prejudice! We are hurt!

Ok. Forget it.

Where is the Ultron, Admiral DOX?

Your intemperate words offend us! We have no Ultron! We want no Ultron. And we couldn't get it if we wanted it! You are the only ship that can travel between worlds! SAY! Maybe YOU stole it! Maybe you are looking for a scapegoat!

OK. OK. Forget it.

We're watching you, DOX.

Greetings from the Vux... the last word in life form destruction! To gain an intimate knowledge of our engines of war, simply place both hands over your eyes and count to three.

Vux! You are commanded to stop.

Stop? STOP? We haven't even STARTED yet, you squishy, tuskless, smooth-skin!

Uh-oh! Oh. Hi, Captain!

What are you doing here?

Um... harvesting resources?

There are no resources here to harvest.

Well. How about that. No resources. Wait. Let me check. Heh heh. WOW. No resources!

The great Earthling Captain is right! Will wonders never cease! I guess even a stopped chronometer is correct once a millennium. No resources. Huh. Guess we should go home now.

Not so fast! Do you guys have the Ultron?

Ultron? What's an Ultron? And why would we want it? And why would we want to upset the Utwig by stealing it? Heh heh.

If you don't know what the Ultron is, how do you know the Ultron belongs to the Utwig?

Um... that's a very good question! I can see that you were not dropped on your malformed ovoid head at birth! Yep, keep on asking those tough questions, and you'll go places.

Speaking of going places, it's time for us to leave now. Hmm. No resources on this planet. Imagine that. Well, bye. Time to go home.

You tell me.

Uh, I don't know. You're the great Captain. You tell me. Well, we have to sign off so we can look for a way home.

Home? How?

Oh. Good question. Well, we have to sign off so we can look for a way home.

Wait! Not so fast! I want to search your ships.

Don't you trust us?

No.

I have to be thorough.

Wait! Why do you think WE have this Ulkron, or whatever it's called.

None of your business.

But captain, we simply must have an answer!

We think you have the Ultron because the Pkunk told us.

Oh, the little Pkunk! How do they know? What are they, psychic? Haw haw!

Actually, yes.

Oh. Who cares? Just ugly Pkunk and uglier humans!

How did you get here?

Wow. How DID we get here? Weird.

Now it's time for you to join my ship's battlegroup.

Never!

I think you DO have the Ultron.

Slander! Go away, or we'll never forgive you for such ugly words, you tuskless smooth-skin!

I bet you guys took the Ultron! I think you're lying to me!

That doesn't matter! You should believe us even when we lie! Or else we'll think you don't TRUST us!

I DON'T trust you. Now hand it over!

Die, ugly snub-snout!

We found the Ultron, and you VUX had it! Why?

Why, there must be some mistake.

I guess that's possible. OK. Forget it.

NO! No mistake! No space god illusions! You VUX had taken it!

Well, then, it must be more pesky renegades, because WE would never do such a thing to our DEAR FRIENDS!

Then how did the renegades accomplish it without HyperSpace travel?

Now, Captain. How could I possibly know any such thing?

OK. You're off the hook. For NOW.

You are still the prime suspect! This is happening on YOUR WATCH!

More renegades? Can't keep your people under control?

Rrrr... Are you questioning my leadership?

No.

Yes. We expect you to patrol your own colonists, and prevent renegades!

Really, Captain! My honor is impugned! You have maligned me and I am deeply hurt. I thought we had built some trust between us, different though we may be.

But no. I perceive now the same bigotry and misunderstanding which brought our two species to war once before! We will resign from the League if you keep accusing us and saying such horrible things about us!

I'll say whatever is true!

Oh, sure. Where will you go? It's a dangerous quadrant out there.

OK. But we are watching you.

This is a formal protest against Vux actions. Heed it. Or you won't need to quit. You'll be thrown out!

We Vux will prevail. You'll see. Now then. Is there anything else?

Captain! We found out that you are paying the Doogs! You are the stupidest Captain ever! Giving away our life's blood to the Crux! This is where all our resources have been going!

Get back in line, Admiral, or I'll PUT you back in line.

It's a necessary tactic.

You should resign for doing such a thing!

Oh, very well. If that's what the colonists want. I'll resign now.

Never! Now I have a question.

You're nuts. Now be quiet.

Captain! We can't allow the Harika and Yorn into the League! Their practices are vile! Eating sentient Yorn! It's disgusting!

Everyone else is OK with it. Including the Yorn. What's your beef?

No it's not.

It's genocide!

No it isn't. It helps the Yorn.

It's nasty! It's against our community values!

How can that be? The rest of our 'community' disagrees with you.

We demand that you step down as our leader!

Oh, OK.

Never.

If you keep pushing us, we will leave the League!

Oh, what a tragedy THAT would be.

That's your decision.

Please don't.

We are considering such a decision!

Well, while you consider, I have a question.

When you broke that Conc Rock you committed genocide! We demand that you resign in accordance with your precious League rules!

Don't be silly. The Conc Rock is just potential life. Not actual sentient beings.

Step down as leader of the League, or we quit the League! The League stands for NOTHING!

I won't step down.

We officially leave the League!

Very well. I resign.

We found proof you are working for the Crux!

More anti-Vux accusations? Will the persecution never end?

You better shape up, or we will kick you out.

Oh, thank you for the second chance.

You are hereby drummed out of the League. You are our enemy.

You are hereby drummed out of the League. You are now our enemy.

GOOD! We are glad to secede from this collection of vile, ugly beasts, you repulsive, verminous, festering stink-pit of an excuse for a sentient creature!

We will relish grinding your mottled hide into vestigial hair-covered powder!

Welcome back. All our Intruders are currently off-line, but if you'd care to hold your present course and speed, one will be free to annihilate you shortly.

We're going to destroy you, you treasonous squid!

Why so hostile, chum?

Are you sure you don't want to rejoin the League?

Augh! You are even uglier than I had thought possible! Can't you see you are making me sick? Please, foul creature, turn your head, or better yet, put a non-air-permeable SACK over it.

Never mind, I have adjusted my display so it is dim enough to be tolerable, just as I used to do when I pretended to be your ally! Now if you don't mind, stop nodding your head like that.

We VUX do not share that range of motion. It appears to us that your neck is broken, and you are a jabbering corpse. Urgh.

You are making a big mistake by remaining such a bigoted, war-mongering life-form.

We're going to crush you.

Human! You are SOOO ugly, SOOO hideous to us that we will NEVER be able to find peace with your species!

Whenever we see your kind, we just want to kick you!... stomp on you!... squish you!...vaporize your ugly faces from the entire universe!

We know it's unreasonable! We know that you had no choice about how you look! Because of your insufferable wretchedness, I am faced with a grotesque choice: keep talking to you and regurgitate uncontrollably, or break off communication!

Welcome to the end of your life, courtesy of VUX technology. Our Intruder vessels are even now locking their vaporizers onto your position and we shall end your painful, grotesque existence for you as soon as possible.

In the meantime, here is a little music...

Hello again. We trust you are enjoying trespassing in VUX space, and look forward to removing you from existence at our earliest possible convenience.

If you believe you can fight your way past our invincible forces, you are correct. Some ash and a few wisps of pungent vapor are sure to make it past us.

Our special today is particle fragmentation! So if you will kindly open your feeding orifice and start screaming, we will begin.

Welcome back to total annihilation, where, as they say, 'Once is celeritous, twice is squeamish ossifrage! But the third time is when it really hurts.'

Please stay seated until your vessel starts smoking then feel free to dash your head painfully against the floor.

This is VUX Commander HIK. On behalf of the team here I would like to say how very much we have enjoyed taunting you, and to congratulate you on plumbing the limits of VUX courtesy, which you have now exhausted.

Therefore, let me just say this: Die, you two-eyed, loathsome, smooth-faced, snub-snouted slug!

We are whole again. What bliss! Thank you, Captain! Thank you!

Why do you look like the same old Vux?

Our cells did not change overnight based on the new genetic material. The Vyro-Ingo and the Vux are beginning a process of re-breeding a new generation based on our rejoined genes.

All in a day's work.

You are welcome.

The reassimilation process is going well. Some Vux are on the Vyro-Ingo ships, and some of them are on our ships. We are getting to know our long-lost, genetically transposed twin selves.

And now we realize that some Vux have been preparing a long time for this moment.

What do you mean?

I mean Admiral ZEX! You knew him back in our old quadrant. We thought him a crackpot with an unhealthy interest in interspecies romance, but he was a visionary!

He had a deep, intuitive, almost RELIGIOUS understanding that our species was genetically incomplete.

In his own, strange way, he collected species from all over the galaxy, searching for the twin self that would restore our missing genes and rescue us from the misery of an incomplete existence.

Like so many visionary leaders, he was dismissed as a mere, ah, disturber of the peace.

How weird.

Captain, we want to rejoin the League! May we?

How do we know we can trust you?

We will return the missing fragment of the Ultron.

Sure. Welcome back. No hard feelings.

OK. Welcome back.

OK. But we're keeping an eye on you.

Ah, a most excellent decision! My chitin rasps and moistens with excitement! Here is the missing part of the Ultron. It's a Brass Ratchet. We stole it to prevent the Ultron from seeing into our plans to betray you.

Why did you betray us?

When we first arrived in the Kessarri Quadrant, the Crux we already here. The Ploxis secretly monitored our transmissions and learned that we were still quite disgusted with humans.

They offered us revenge on you. We were so miserable from our genetic flaw that we accepted. They secretly transported us with their Precursor vessel. But now we are back and we are... we're sorry.

You are forgiven. Colonize well, my Vux allies.

Greetings, Captain! We are actually delighted to see you. You no longer look so repulsive to us!