Melnorme Quotes

I am Trade Master Greenish in command of the Melnorme starship

`Inevitably Successful in All Circumstances.'

I bid you a formal welcome, Captain.

Though we Melnorme have just recently arrived in this region of space

we have long desired to make contact with your species

and look forward to an extended profitable relationship.

As a master trader in the Melnorme merchant fleet, I greet you, Captain.

News of your species and your unusual vessel has travelled quickly.

I need not say how eager we are to trade with you and your kind!

Now, how can I be of service to you?

Hello again, human space captain.

Perhaps during this encounter, we will be able to establish a successful, businesslike relationship.

We come in peace, representing the {Alliance name}!

Even before our first meeting, we knew of you, Captain.

Though your struggle to free Earth shall be a long and difficult challenge

fraught with great danger and mystery

we have great confidence in you and your abilities.

How did you know about us before meeting us?

We gather information from a thousand secret sources in space and time.

Our charge for revealing even one of these sources would be so high

that your species would be in debt to us for centuries.

What can you tell us about yourselves?

We Melnorme are interstellar purveyors of fine trade goods and valuable information.

Our origins and purposes are, frankly, mysterious and due to several unavoidable factors

we are unable to discuss ourselves in any great detail.

What are these 'unavoidable factors'?

First and foremost among these factors

is our unwillingness to GIVE away information about

our history, psychology and mental powers,

our unique physiology,

the exact locations of homeworlds,

or our potentially ominous, long-range plans.


these important and relevant pieces of information

ARE available

for a nominal sum of Credits.

Do you have any information which might be useful to us?


Our primary trade good IS information.

Why, right here on my display screen, I have something

which I am certain would be of incalculable value to you!

We can discuss the details of this VERY significant information

later, when we have established normal trading procedures

at which time we shall also discuss the nature of our fees.

Fees! Surely your culture is far beyond such pettiness as money?

You are of course correct.

We long ago abandoned currency,

and now only deal with commodities that have intrinsic value, such as valuable information

But our cause is just! Isn't altruism the highest pinnacle of morality?

No, it is not.

In fact, in our culture, `giving'

with no fair exchange of goods or services,

is considered vulgar and inappropriate.

Please do not mention this subject again.

`Trade' is for the weak. We TAKE what we want!

We reel with inchoate fear, and are thrown into a sudden panic.

Being peaceful by nature

we would no doubt be unprepared for your sudden hostility

were it not for the excellent weapon system we bought from the Keel-Verezy just last month.

A weapon system which is fully locked on your command bridge, by the way.

We cannot continue this conversation. Goodbye.

When you wish to trade with us, seek any supergiant star system.

We shall be there.

Shall we begin trading now?

Yes, let us get down to business.

How nice to see you again, Captain.

Before we go on, I have a small announcement.

As you may know, in our travels throughout the galaxy

we Melnorme have found many strange and interesting alien artifacts.

One of these devices is the MetaChron, a kind of trans-time alarm system.

In a nutshell, it warns me of future dangers by predicting its own demise

which is most likely linked to my own well being, since I keep it under my pillow.

The unit is a small pyramid and, when all is well, white in color.

But if we are proceeding along a timeline which will eventually result in the destruction of the MetaChron

the unit slowly darkens. Presumably, it will be destroyed at the same time as it turns completely black.

When we first entered this region of space, the MetaChron was white.

Now it is light gray.

At its present rate of change, something will destroy the MetaChron

in the early part of the year 2159.

In order to avoid this unpleasantness, we may be leaving just before this time

so if you have business you wish to conduct with us

I suggest you do so before January 2159, or February at the latest.

I had itchy pods this morning, Captain, and here you are!

What a coincidence! I was just talking about you with a Keel-Verezy captain.

He/she/they expressed great interest in your explorations and struggles against the Ur-Quan

but, like all Verezy, I'm afraid he/she/they were hesitant to introduce themselves for fear of


frightening you.

In any event, it is our pleasure to meet you once again.

Once again we meet to exchange valuable tangibles.

Isn't this fun?!

Your arrival was predicted by our Tzo crystal's vibrations.

We already know why you are here and what you need from us; however

etiquette requires that we act as though we are ignorant of your desires.

This very morning, I was just saying to subordinate Ochre

`Fe-Fi-Fo-Fum! I smell the feet of a Hu-Hu-Man!'

We laughed and laughed. What a synchronicity!

I must warn you, Captain

this is the time of the month we Melnorme drive exceptionally hard bargains.



Hoy! What a close call!

Captain, why did you try to run down that Keel-Verezy vessel!?

You almost smashed it into flinders!

What!? You didn't see it? Surely you -- oh

Never mind.

Welcome back, Captain! You are our favorite customer.

What's my Credit balance, if you please?

Your present balance is {x} Credits.


the violent one has returned.

Have you come back to seek our forgiveness

or to attack our defenseless vessel once more?

You have disappointed us

though to be truthful

we had some hints that our relationship would be difficult at first

due to your species' emotional immaturity.

We require a formal apology.

Can we discuss establishing an alliance?

Your question reveals a certain lack of understanding

about the nature of friendly, inter-species relationships.

We shall clarify the situation.

If you wish to be friends with someone



shoot wads of super-heated plasma at them.

Is this clear?

Look, mistakes happen. Don't get so bent out of shape!

The Spathi once used a similar excuse

after an unfortunate incident at their base on Algol IV.

They didn't like the climate there

so they decided to make `just a few minor, climatic adjustments.'

Their equipment went haywire, they panicked and fled

and the entire atmosphere was stripped off the planet

much to the native Algolites sincere

though short-lived


Let's just forget our battle ever happened, ok?


What do you want from me, a formal apology?

There is a small possibility that an apology would set things right.

But it would have to be genuine.

I apologize. I'm sorry. Please forgive me, I beg you.


since you put it so nicely

you seem so genuinely repentant

we'll give you another chance to become trading partners with us.

But don't ever attack us again

Or the next time we won't be such nice guys.

This seems like a great opportunity to attack you again.

Deceitful human!

I'm leaving now. Goodbye.

Farewell, violent human.

We thought you were a nice guy.

Boy, were we wrong!

Now go away and leave us alone.

So, the jerk is back.

What do you want from us this time?

Never mind, we don't want to know.

We will hate you forever

It is no use coming back here in the hopes that we will ever change our minds.

We won't!

The Human has returned.

He hopes either to convince us of his sorrow over his past wrong-doings

or he intends to compel us to give/render unreasonable bargains by force.

Prepare to be destroyed.

No, YOU prepare to be destroyed!

Die, eye-freak!

This time you shall pay for your transgressions!


Don't ever come back!

Ahhh-YING!! Ahhh-YING! Ahhh-YING! Ahhh-Y

Oh sorry, Captain. I was just meditating on the sorry state of your consciousness.

Do you perceive any improvement?

According to our scanners and other sensitive devices

you are immobile in HyperSpace with no fuel reserves.

This is a serious situation.

Without fuel you shall drift here until your batteries exhaust themselves

then your life-support will fail

and you will expire

unless, of course

a hostile alien vessel finds you here helpless

and annihilates you mercilessly.

This has been known to happen.


as a gesture of good will, and in the spirit of friendship, we offer our assistance!

For a nominal fee.

Once more we find ourselves in a position to help you.

How wonderful.

Have you ever considered buying more fuel tanks?

Just a friendly suggestion, Captain.

We have come to help you once more, Captain.

We MUST stop meeting like this, Captain!

Ha, ha, ha

Har, har, har


Out of fuel again, eh, Captain?

Have you changed your mind

and decided to accept our offer of assistance?

No thanks, I don't need your help right now.

Perhaps I was hasty in refusing your offer. What was it again?

Would you like us to help you at this time?

I don't need your help at this time. Maybe later, though.

Yes, I would appreciate your assistance. What is your fee?

You have no Credit balance in our mercantile computer

and our scanners show that you possess no useful trade goods

but, perhaps we can work out a special deal.

In exchange for our giving you enough fuel to

get you home, we will take:

{x} of your Planet Landers

{x} of your Fusion Thrusters

{x} of your Turning Jets

{x} of your empty Crew Pods

{x} of your empty Storage Bays

{x} of your Dynamo modules

{x} of your Shiva Furnaces

{x} of your Ion-Bolt Guns

{x} of your Blasters

{x} of your Hellbore Cannons

{x} of your Auto-Tracking modules

{x} of your Point-Defense Lasers

fill your tanks, we will take:

We will take

I find I have no choice. I accept your offer... grudgingly.

The exchange of fuel for equipment is complete.

As always, it is a pleasure doing business with you.

Goodbye, Captain.

This offer is absurd! I refuse.

Well then, we bid you farewell.

We hope to see you again

though with you sitting here, dead in space

vulnerable and alone

we won't hold our breath.

It's not worth stripping.

Since you have no useful, easily removeable equipment on your vessel

we have decided to provide you with fuel at no cost.

Please do not make the mistake of thinking of this as a `gift' or act of altruism

we are merely investing in our relationship with you, the customer.

We are certain that in the long run, this will prove to be a most profitable investment.

Good luck, Captain.

Until we meet again, Captain.

Perhaps I can be of some assistance to you in this time of confusion and travail

either make a sincere apology to us, or depart.

We beg your forgiveness for our unwarranted aggression.

Even if we were to accept your words as truth

you have a lot to make up for.

We stand prepared to make reparations for our previous conduct.




Very well then.

We will give you a single opportunity to compensate us

for the damages you have inflicted upon our mercantile fleet

with your unreasonable attacks in the past.

We will not make this offer a second time.

You will give us all non-essential hardware from your vessel


Do you accept?

Ok, it's a deal, but ONLY the non-essentials!

Removal of non-essential equipment is complete.

We are satisfied with the exchange, and believe that we can now pursue

a productive business relationship.

We shall forget the mistakes you made in the past. Mostly.

What kind of sucker do you think I am? Forget it!


Good riddance.

Why did your bridge just turn blue? To us, blue ambience signifies a response to an unexpected threat

it shows that we are under emotional distress

and not incidentally

it also lets us see our weapon consoles more clearly.

We have no fear of you, Melnorme!

You should.

Once the Dramya thought they could steal from us.

You don't see too many Dramya around these days, do you?

We have the most powerful ship in this part of the galaxy.

Perhaps that is true, but you have only one ship.

Why shouldn't we just take what we want from you by force?

Because it's against the law, and besides

if you steal from us, the other Melnorme ships will have to raise their prices

and other innocent space aliens will have to pay for your wrong-doing.

Now that's not fair, is it?

Look, we were just testing your intentions. We're actually peaceful and friendly.

You have an odd way of making friends, Captain.

Are you certain that you aren't just tricking us

so that you can attack us the moment our back is turned?

I promise, we won't do anything sneaky like that.

We believe you.

Let's just test out that weapon system, shall we?... IN COMBAT!

You give us no choice.

Since this is your first time trading with us, let me explain how our system works.

We are interested in purchasing certain items, specifically

biological data on alien life forms

and the coordinates of certain strange worlds whose radiant energies defy all scanners

producing a rainbow-like image.

In exchange, we have many interesting and valuable commodities

such as fuel compatible with your starship's HyperDrive thrusters

technological specifications, allowing you to build new modules for your ship

and protective systems to shield your planet landers from hostile surface conditions

as well as many important secrets which may help you in your travels.

To facilitate trade, we translate all your sales into Interstar Credits

with which you may make purchases.

If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask.

Why did your bridge turn purple?

That's a good question with a very interesting answer!

The fee for this information is 120,000 Credits.

Now, what can we do for you today?

I have some items I would like to sell.

What would you like to sell, Captain?

We appreciate your intentions, but you have nothing we wish to buy.

I have some data on alien lifeforms.

The {x} units of biological data we downloaded from your ship earn you {2x} Credits.

I wish to sell you Rainbow world locations.

Your ship's log indicates that you discovered the whereabouts of {x} of the Rainbow worlds which so fascinate us.

In exchange, we will give you {500x} Credits.

We found a Precursor artifact. Do you want it?

Always! Absolutely!

The exchange value for this artifact is

{unknown} Credits

On second thought, I don't think I want to sell anything.

As you wish.

I am done selling, for now.

I would like to make some purchases.

You need Credits to purchase our trade items.

To earn Credits you must sell us the items we desire, which are:

biological data on alien lifeforms

and the coordinates of certain strange worlds whose radiant energies defy all scanners

producing a rainbow-like image.

What trade items would you like to buy today?

I'd like to buy some fuel.

As you know, we carry a large supply of fuel on board which is compatible with your engine system.

We will be happy to sell this substance to you at a cost of 1 Credit per fuel unit.

How much fuel do you wish to purchase?

1 unit of fuel.

5 units of fuel.

10 units of fuel.

25 units of fuel.

Fill all my fuel tanks to maximum capacity.

Fuel transferred to your vessel.

Your ship's capacity is insufficient to hold that much fuel.

I am done buying fuel.

Would you like to purchase anything else?

I wish to buy information.

Good! I wish to SELL information.

As you know, in our many centuries of star-trading

we Melnorme have come to learn much about what happens in our galaxy

both now and in the ancient past.

We have also kept records on the diverse alien races in your region of space.

We will share this crucial knowledge with you for a fee of 75 Credits

per informative fact.

No refunds.

I do not wish to buy information at this time.

I wish to buy information about current events.

While you probably believe that the Shofixti are extinct

having caused their sun to flare with a device identical to the Utwig's super-bomb

the truth is not so simple.

There yet exists a chance to resuscitate this meta-marsupial species, though it will not be easy.

The problem at hand seems simple: bring together two Shofixti of different sexes

and the carnal gymnastics proceed. Given the short gestation and maturation time of the Shofixti

you will have thousands of the creatures in ten years, and millions in twenty.

Finding a male of the species is easier than flup

simply visit the Shofixti's blasted star system at Delta Gorno.

Captain Tanaka or its sibling Katana shall greet you on your arrival.

A warning! -- These warriors are old and fly in barely functional ships.

If they mistakenly identify you as the enemy, do not return fire!

Retreat and try to talk with them on their own level.

The females of the species will be more difficult to obtain.

The only supply of such remaining in the galaxy is at Alpha Cerenkov I

included as part of Admiral ZEX's bizarre and beloved menagerie.

Fortunately for you, Captain, ZEX is considered... well... perverse, by his fellow VUX.

This is because ZEX actually enjoys the presence of human beings.

To acquire the Shofixti females, you will have to appease ZEX

because, I fear, killing him will be virtually impossible

due to his exceptional battle skills and the huge personal fleet he possesses.

The Ur-Quan are presently at war with a race called the Kohr-Ah.

They are fighting within a large spherical region of space centered around the Crateris star group.

Although it is probably too early to tell, it would appear that the Kohr-Ah are winning.

No doubt you are familiar with an alien race called the Umgah who live in the Orionis constellation.

While they are renowned for their potent and often cruel sense of humor

they have outdone themselves in recent years.

Specifically, they have used an unusual HyperWave `Caster

to impersonate the Ilwrath gods, Dogar and Kazon.

When the Ilwrath began tuning-in to `the voices of their gods' on their hyperwave receivers

their priest caste was understandably skeptical

and counselled their many followers to ignore the blasphemous signals.

However, in a surprise move, the majority of the Ilwrath then rose up

and slaughtered the entire priest caste.

Their reasons for this ghastly move included over-taxation, lack of `quality death in ceremony'

and the general feeling that the priests had made Dogar and Kazon's pronouncements overly complex.

As a side note, should you ever find yourself in possession of a `Caster similar to the Umgah's

be aware that you may use it to summon us from any point in HyperSpace.

As you know, there are weaknesses in the division between dimensions.

For example, your vessel uses such weaknesses to enter HyperSpace.

However, there are other weak spots in the galaxy which lead to yet different dimensions.

One such portal exists nearby, between the Chandrasekhar and Columbae constellations.

The portal opens only a short time each month starting on the 17th.

Since we have never entered the portal, we can give no more information on this subject.

As you are probably aware, Ur-Quan starships -- you call them `Dreadnoughts', I believe

possess effective self-annihilation circuits which prevent other races

from reverse-engineering Ur-Quan technological secrets.

However, we have become aware of a shipwrecked dreadnought which has remained largely intact.

You will find the remains of the ship on the surface of a blue world orbiting Alpha Pavonis.

We suspect you will find at least one item of interest there, possibly two.

You may have noticed the presence of an increasingly large number of red probe vessels

which move with great speed and attack relentlessly.

We are sorry to say that this is our catalog item 2418-B.

Do not blame us! We are not responsible for this violent folly!

The product is not being used in a correct manner.

Should you wish to confront the actual wrong-doers

we suggest you search the planets in Beta Corvi for the probes' owners.

Not more than fifty years ago

the Druuge were informed by the now-extinct Burvixese race

of a powerful alien nation called the Utwig.

The Utwig, the Burvixese explained, were pleasant, sophisticated creatures

but they were also terminally depressed and often spoke about ending their lives

by activating a super-weapon, some kind of gigantic bomb

which they had found on one of their worlds -- Zeta Hyades VI-B I think it was.

The Druuge recognized the description of the bomb as a Precursor planeteering tool

which indeed was an explosive device of unrivaled power, and they set out to make it their own.

Though the revolting, criminal, insidious Druuge rarely leave their sphere of influence

(it encompasses Algol, Almagest, and the Persei stars)

they made a special trip on this occasion to the Aquarii constellation, where they made contact with the Utwig.

There is a device commonly known as the `Ultron'.

Is it now in your possession? Ah... I see.

The Druuge sold this device to the Utwig, explaining that it was a Precursor `Personal Magnifier'

which would enrich the lives of their entire culture in too many ways to describe specifically.

The Utwig, I am sorry to say, fell for the Druuge's foul ruse, and snapped up the Ultron immediately.

Fortunately for us all, the Utwig did not pay the Druuge's requested price -- the super-bomb

and instead gave them a collection of `historical oddments and genuine artifacts'

which to this day, the Druuge are trying to unload on unwary buyers.

The Utwig, who live in the Aquarii constellation, have grown very depressed of late.

They accidentally broke the supposed `Ultron' sold to them by the felonious Druuge.

As a consequence, they are morose and melancholic

and will probably be unwilling to help you fight the Ur-Quan.

If you wish to gain them as allies, we recommend that you acquire the broken Ultron

(as if it EVER worked)

and find some suitable replacement parts.

Our information indicates that you can find these items in three different places

a Rosy Sphere at the Druuge trade world

an Aqua Helix somewhere in Thraddash space

and a Clear Spindle, which is currently in the possession of the Pkunk.

Captain, that was the last current event we have for sale.

I will pay for useful data on alien races.

The Zoq-Fot-Pik are a friendly co-op of three alien species all native to the same world.

They are presently suffering severe collateral damage

from the ritual combat between the Ur-Quan and the Kohr-Ah.

While this is unfortunate for the Zoq-Fot-Pik -- they have been forced to abandon many of their worlds

this close proximity to the inter-Ur-Quan war will give them insights into the conflict

which will be of great use to you.

In addition, the Zoq-Fot-Pik met the Chenjesu early on in the war, and are eager to make allies

who can protect them from their enemies.

In case you are interested, the Zoq-Fot-Pik homeworld is at

coordinates 400.0:543.7, planet I.

The Ilwrath are presently attacking the Pkunk in the Lacaille and Krueger constellations.

These beings have slavish devotion to their dark gods Dogar and Kazon

which in the past few years has been used against them by the Umgah.

If you need to manipulate the Ilwrath, we suggest you discover the Umgah's technique

and duplicate it.

The Pkunk are a mystical off-shoot of the Yehat species

who left their bird-brothers long ago to found a peaceful enclave

in the Krueger and Giclas stars.

At the present time, the Pkunk are defending themselves against the Ilwrath

who have been commanded to attack the happy birds by Dogar and Kazon.

The Pkunk may be unwilling to make a formal alliance with you

but we have confidence that if you explain yourself honestly

they will help your efforts against the Ur-Quan.

The creatures presently fighting the Ur-Quan are called the Kohr-Ah.

They are an Ur-Quan sub-species that split off from the main species many thousands of years ago.

Their present fight is a ritual reenactment of a major difference of opinion

between rival Ur-Quan leaders after the Ur-Quan overwhelmed their slave-masters, the Dnyarri.

The Kohr-Ah are immune to reason, having long ago lost the ability to see their situation objectively.

They live in a self-maintained paradox: to ensure their safety and security

the Kohr-Ah fight an endless battle against all other sentient species.

I must warn you about some very bad people.

`Is this worth so many credits?' you ask yourself.

I assure you, it is!

The creatures are called the `Druuge' and they are a callous and evil race.

They care for nothing but profit and personal gain through unfair mercantile exchanges..

why are you looking at me like that, Captain? It is not appropriate.

As I was saying, these wicked creatures will try to sell you commodities at unreasonably low prices.

Hoy! -- they almost give away fuel!

Do not fall for their tricks! There are hidden costs -- secret tariffs!

So that you may avoid them, I will tell you that their main trade world is Zeta Persei I.

Why are you smiling, Captain?

The Burvixese race evolved on the planet Arcturus I.

They lived there in a relatively benevolent manner

until the Kohr-Ah came and destroyed them during the course of 2 or 3 unfortunate days.

The Druuge were largely responsible for the Kohr-Ah's finding the Burvixese.

You see, the Burvixese were in long-distance HyperWave contact

with a race known simply as the Gg.

For decades the Gg and the Burvixese traded much valuable information

until the Gg came under attack by an invading race who you may know as the Kohr-Ah.

The Gg warned the Burvixese that the Kohr-Ah located races by their HyperWave transmissions

and that they had already discovered the radiations from the Druuge.

When the Burvixese were kind enough to warn the Druuge that a hostile alien race

was homing in on their HyperWave's radiations, the Druuge shut down all their transmitters

and erected a powerful HyperWave beacon on the surface of the Burvixese moon.

The Kohr-Ah changed course, attacked the poor Burvixese and sadly, destroyed them all.

The Thraddash are an arrogant, stubborn, and thick-skinned species

who reside in the Draconis and Apodis star systems.

They have little or no respect for anything but force, which they admire greatly.

To make the Thraddash your friends, you should consider killing most, but not all of them.

In addition, they guard some kind of sacred relic at the star system Zeta Draconis

though we do not know the true nature of this artifact.

The Thraddash homeworld is at Delta Draconis.

After the war, the Chenjesu and the Mmrnmhrm chose to be slave-shielded

on the Chenjesu's homeworld at Procyon.

We suspect that they are melding their two species to form some kind of new, hybrid race

a race which may well be powerful enough to destroy the Ur-Quan single-handedly.

However, by our calculations, this process will take many decades, if not centuries.

Should you wish to talk to them, we recommend you invest in a HyperWave broadcasting system

which is powerful enough to penetrate the shield around their world.

Incidentally, should you acquire such a device, feel free to use it anywhere in HyperSpace

and we will be sure to respond promptly.

The Mycon are using this time while the Ur-Quan have their attention elsewhere

to expand their sphere of influence as fast as possible.

The Mycon colonize planets by launching tough spore-pods from orbit

and injecting them under the planet's surface.

Months later, after the spores have grown hundreds of thick, fibrous tendrils under the planet's crust

the tendrils suddenly thrust up out of the planet and create huge calderas

not incidentally filling the planet's atmosphere with the Mycon's preferred gases

clouds of super-heated steam and sulphuric acid.

Following the end of the War, the Androsynth began experimenting with Inter-Dimensional Fatigue

a process which is related to your faster-than-light drive

but involves dimensions far more alien than HyperSpace.

They had just made a major breakthrough when they were suddenly wiped out by a race called the Orz

who appeared seemingly out of nowhere.

Actually, we don't know what the Orz did to the Androsynth -- they're just all gone.

The Ariloulaleelay are a mysterious race of IDF beings

IDF meaning, Inter-Dimensional Fatigue

who do not reside in this galaxy, or in fact, anywhere in this universe.

While it is true that the Arilou are rarely seen far from the Columbae star group

they do make regular, secret visits to your world, and have done so for centuries.

Ever since Earth was slave-shielded, they have focused their attention

on the humans aboard the starbase, many of whom are now members of your crew.

Though the Ariloulaleelay always smile and are never overtly hostile

we believe that they have a secret agenda which somehow involves your planet, Earth.

These secret plans may or may not cause grief and woe to you Earthlings.

Just under 20 years ago, the brave and suicidal Shofixti annihilated their species

by exploding a Precursor device -- some kind of bomb -- in the interior of their sun.

The resulting storm of solar flares cooked the life off the Shofixti homeworld

and incinerated over a hundred Ur-Quan Dreadnoughts

which had just entered the system to conquer the Shofixti.

In actuality, there are still at least a dozen Shofixti left alive in the galaxy.

One or two are at Delta Gorno, guarding the dead hulk of their once beautiful world.

Others can be found in VUX space.

The Slylandro are a mostly non-solid, sentient race who live in a gas giant at Beta Corvi.

We recently sold them a self-replicating exploration probe

which has somehow turned hostile and attacks everything it detects.

If such encounters have angered you, Captain, please do NOT address your concerns to us.

We possess a formal Waiver of Damages, authorized by a Slylandro Speaker

and are in no way responsible for the situation.

The cowardly Spathi live at the single planet orbiting Epsilon Gruis.

They do not actually live on their world, rather they reside on its solitary moon.

The reason? A xenomorphic species, which craves the sweet-flavored flesh of the Spathi

has been transported to the surface of their planet

and makes every attempt to devour the poor Spathi.

I am certain that the Spathi would be forever in your debt

if you were to eliminate these creatures from their planet.

What? You fear the alien creatures will find you a treat also?

Fear not. Our data reveals the beasts are not interested in your species.

Should you wish to consult with the Spathi Ruling Council

you will need to know the Secret Spathi Cypher -- a password, which is


Like you Earthlings, when the war with the Ur-Quan was lost

the Syreen chose to be slave-shielded. Their new world is at Betelgeuse.

The Syreen's starbase is crewed by the starship commanders and crew

who were decommissioned at the end of the war.

Though the Syreen hate the Ur-Quan with a vengeance, they are unlikely to offer you assistance

unless you reveal to them the truth behind the tragedy of their original homeworld, Syra

which was destroyed by the birth of a Mycon `Deep Child' a century ago.

When the Ur-Quan entered Gamma Serpentis -- the home star of the Yehat

the Yehat Queen suddenly switched allegiance to the Ur-Quan Hierarchy

converting the Yehat by royal fiat into Ur-Quan combat thralls.

This act was viewed by most Yehat starship officers as ultimately dishonorable

the desperate act of a corrupt regent to maintain her throne.

The Yehat shame was greatly magnified by the Shofixti's show of courage

when they destroyed their own star system to slow down the Ur-Quan Armada.

Captain, you have heard all that we have to say about aliens indigenous to this region.

Should we learn more in the near future, we shall be certain to sell it to you.

Please sell us historical information.

Almost twenty-five thousand of your years ago, there existed near this region of space

an association of starfaring races called the `Sentient Milieu'.

This group formed over several thousand years to enrich mutually their respective cultures

to provide a safe creche for emerging sentient species

and to afford themselves a degree of protection from external hostilities via military alliance.

Of the seven most active Milieu members, the most famous race -- indeed you know them well, Captain

were the Ur-Quan.

The Ur-Quan evolved on a harsh planet orbiting a star outside this region of space.

They were solitary predators, like your praying mantis, Captain, or polar bear

who had a very limited set of social behaviors, most of which dealt with sex.

Since they had to compete for survival against many physically superior species

the Ur-Quan evolved intelligence and tool use, in much the same way as your own species.

The Ur-Quan also learned to master their fierce territoriality to build a cooperative planetary culture.

When the Ur-Quan were discovered by the Taalo, they had just begun exploring their solar system

in crude atomic vehicles.

Although the Ur-Quan attacked what they thought to be an invader, the Taalo were patient.

They explained the purpose of the Sentient Milieu, and offered the Ur-Quan membership.

The Ur-Quan recognized the benefits that such a system provided

and once more conquered the hunting beast within themselves

to become cooperative, productive members of the Milieu. This lasted for several thousands of years.

Just over twenty thousand years ago

when your ancestors were learning to chart the course of the moon and stars on animal horns

the Sentient Milieu spanned five hundred light years and included the membership of a hundred worlds.

Like all other star-travellers, they had discovered ruins and relics of a far more ancient culture

which your species calls the `Precursors'.

Explorers from many species spent their lives trying to piece together this ancient mystery

but of all races, the Ur-Quan were the most bold adventurers.

Their scouts, flying single-ships, penetrated far into uncharted space, and landed on a million worlds.

On one such mission, a young Ur-Quan made planetfall on a small, life-bearing alien world

to identify some anomalous energy readings, occasionally a sign of Precursor installations.

Instead the Ur-Quan found a small, hideous creature -- a Dnyarri.

Before the scout was able to defend itself, the Dnyarri creature took control of the Ur-Quan's mind

and commanded the scout to place the Dnyarri aboard the Ur-Quan's ship, along with hundreds of its evil brood.

Then the Ur-Quan returned to the heart of the Milieu, landing on its capital planet.

Within hours, every resident of the planet was a Dnyarri slave.

Within a month, Dnyarri-compelled starships had spread the evil, psychic creatures across the entire Milieu.

When the Dnyarri took control over the Milieu, one race fought back -- the Taalo.

These slow, quiet creatures were silicon-based life forms

but bore little resemblance to the modern Chenjesu.

The Taalo were natural immunes to the Dnyarri psychic compulsion; they were unaffected by the creatures' power

and the Dnyarri would not permit anyone to exist outside their control

so they ordered the remaining races of the Milieu to attack and destroy the Taalo home planet.

This planet was one of the few Milieu worlds located in this region of space.

I believe you call their star Delta Vulpeculae. Their home was a moon revolving about the second planet.

I am sad to say that the Taalo were, indeed, eliminated.

However, at the time of their devastation they had completed a device

which they thought would give other races psychic immunity like their own.

What happened to this device, this shield? It's hard to say.

Maybe it was destroyed in the attack on their homeworld, maybe not.

In the Dnyarri's new empire, the Ur-Quan were the favored slaves.

This is probably because the Ur-Quan were the most psychically sensitive, the most easily compelled.

As the centuries of Dnyarri dominance passed, what was once the Sentient Milieu

deteriorated and degenerated into a great galactic gulag.

Alien races which did not serve with the efficiency and speed demanded by the Dnyarri

were ruthlessly burned from the faces of their worlds.

The agents of this genocide were inevitably the Dnyarri's favored pet, the Ur-Quan.

After almost twenty-five hundred years of unrelenting Dnyarri control

there were only four living member races of the once-great Sentient Milieu.

By this point, the Dnyarri had used genetic manipulation to split the Ur-Quan into two sub-species

the Green Ur-Quan -- scientists, technicians, and administrators

who were responsible for maintaining the limited infrastructure of the Dnyarri civilization

and the Black Ur-Quan, who filled the ranks of basic laborer and combat soldier.

Then, a chance discovery by an Ur-Quan named Kzer-Za

led to the violent overthrow of the Dnyarri Slave Empire.

The Ur-Quan named Kzer-Za was a Green, a researcher specializing in repairing the mental damage

inflicted by long-term exposure to the Dnyarri's psychic compulsion.

By this point in history, the Dnyarri had grown lax in their dominance

and on occasion accidentally permitted their slaves moments of self-direction.

Kzer-Za was able to use those few scattered minutes to compose a theory.

From its observations, Kzer-Za realized that when a slave died

the Dnyarri `disconnected' from the slave's mind, lest it too be dragged down to death.

Further, the Ur-Quan scientist uncovered the fact that when a slave underwent great pain

the Dnyarri temporarily disconnected -- but that the degree of pain had to be extreme, nearly lethal.

Kzer-Za chose its moment carefully -- it waited until it was near an open transmission unit.

Then, in a short moment of mental freedom, the Ur-Quan injected itself with a dose of acidic poison

sending incredible waves of pain through its long body.

In the few moments before its death, Kzer-Za was able to wrest control of the transmitter

to send word of its discovery across the planet, and into space as well.

Before the Dnyarri knew what was happening

Ur-Quan everywhere were hacking at their own bodies with chunks of glass, burning themselves horribly

doing anything that would give them the few seconds of freedom necessary to find the nearest Dnyarri

and crush the bleating creature.

As they gained longer and longer periods of control, the Ur-Quan developed new tools and weapons

to destroy their evil masters. The most gruesome of these devices was the Excruciator

a mechanism which was inserted directly into the brain, and generated a constant stream of agony.

The Dnyarri could not bring themselves to make the necessary mental connection with these tortured Ur-Quan.

They were slaughtered by the thousands.

The Ur-Quan slave revolt was won.

When the last Ur-Quan was free of psychic compulsion -- when the last free Dnyarri was dead

the combined might of the Ur-Quan star fleets met in orbit above the Dnyarri homeworld.

They had come together to make two important decisions.

First -- how to punish the few frightened Dnyarri left below on the planet's surface

Second -- how to ensure that never again would the Ur-Quan be made slaves.

The first decision was made swiftly. The Dnyarri would not be allowed to die

that was too kind a fate.

Instead, the creatures would be genetically modified into sub-sentience

they would become dumb animals.

These low creatures would be further debased by serving the Ur-Quan for all eternity

in the most demeaning way the Ur-Quan could imagine

acting as translators, making physical contact with other species

whom the Ur-Quan now considered grossly inferior to themselves and revolting.

The second decision -- how to ensure their freedom permanently -- caused great turmoil.

Following the successful Ur-Quan slave revolt

the Ur-Quan met to decide how to ensure their freedom.

The Green Ur-Quan, who called themselves the Kzer-Za in honor of the Ur-Quan who triggered the revolt

wished to establish the `Path of Now and Forever'

which required that all other sentient species must become slaves of the Ur-Quan

or be forever imprisoned beneath an impenetrable force shield.

Leading the opposition to this plan was Kohr-Ah, a charismatic fleet officer.

Kohr-Ah proposed a simpler alternative, the `Eternal Doctrine.'

Simply put, this scheme called for the systematic eradication

of all sentient life in the universe aside from the Ur-Quan.

Captain, if these positions seem to you extreme or unwarranted

you must remember that the Ur-Quan had been unwilling slaves for millenia

and that each of them had to remain in agony for years in order to defeat the Dnyarri.

The followers of Kzer-Za and Kohr-Ah were all on the brink of madness

but neither side would submit, and so they fought a bloody civil war.

The civil war between the Green Ur-Quan, the followers of Kzer-Za

and their opponents, the death-dealing Kohr-Ah, lasted for decades.

It is likely that they would have annihilated each other

were it not for a chance discovery by a Kzer-Za -- a Precursor Battleship!

The vessel was huge, many times the size of the Ur-Quan's vessels.

The Precursor ship sliced through the Kohr-Ah forces in days -- the Kohr-Ah were defeated.

However in their victory, the Kzer-Za were humble

they realized that there was a chance that they were wrong, and the Kohr-Ah were right.

Instead of destroying the Kohr-Ah, the Kzer-Za let them go

directing them to make their way through the stars, traveling against the spin of the galaxy.

The Kzer-Za would travel in the opposite direction

and when the two Ur-Quan forces met, they would fight again in a ritual combat

with the Precursor Battleship given to the winner.

Captain, this is happening here and now.

The Kzer-Za, the Ur-Quan who enslaved Earth, are fighting their ritual battle against the Kohr-Ah

in a large area centered near the Crateris constellation.

If the Kohr-Ah win this battle, Captain, the Kzer-Za will stand aside and let them kill us all.

We believe it is your destiny to prevent this from happening.

This is the last historical item we have for sale.

I am done buying information.

We regret to say that you have exhausted our supply of genuinely valuable information.

However, we DO have many thousands of useless facts that we will gladly sell you

at a substantial discount. Are you interested?

We thought not.

I am interested in investing in new technology.

Investment! Ah yes, you are so right.

These technological breakthroughs don't cost you Credit

they EARN you Credit!

Of course... there is an initial charge

but each technological system item is GUARANTEED

to be useful for something important

somewhere in the galaxy

at some point in the future.

All technologies cost 150 Credits.

Right now we are offering

The technology we are now offering includes plans for building

blaster weapons twice as powerful as your ion-bolt guns.

I would like to buy the technology you described.

Please remember that these weapons consume energy from your combat batteries

faster than your familiar ion-bolt guns.

You may wish to compensate for this by building additional dynamo modules for your flagship.

The technology we are now offering includes specifications for constructing

modifications to your planet landers which will double their speed.

I would like to buy the technology you described.

Ah yes, speed! An excellent choice for the relentless hunter and craven coward as well.

These modifications are simple enough to be put in place immediately.

Your landers should be properly equipped in no time.

The technology we are now offering includes details on how to add

'point-defense' laser defense systems to your flagship.

I would like to buy the technology you described.

These little babies are great for defense, but because of their limited range

they may not make a good offensive weapon. However, the more you build for your vessel

the more damage each laser strike will do.

The technology we are now offering includes plans for building

improvements to your planet landers which make them resistant to hostile alien lifeforms.

I would like to buy the technology you described.

Our reinforcement procedures on your landers are complete.

Now, provided your crew will stop putting their hands out the windows

they will be much better protected against hostile lifeforms.

The technology we are now offering includes blueprints which show how to increase

your lander's cargo space to double its present volume.

I would like to buy the technology you described.

I hope this makes your resource gathering more cost-effective, Captain.

The technology we are now offering includes blueprints which show how to add

double-capacity fuel tanks.

I would like to buy the technology you described.

We hope that these mproved tanks will make more module slots available on your flagship

which you can fill with other, more useful equipment.

The technology we are now offering includes plans for improving

the rate of fire on your lander's stunray bolt-beamer gun.

I would like to buy the technology you described.

After some wild game, hmmm? Well, the changes we made should really make a difference!

...uh... unless of course that wiring went in backwards

in which case you won't be able to shoot at all, or take off for that matter.

Don't worry, Captain. We stand behind our work. If something goes wrong

just bring it back to us, and we'll fix it pronto!

The technology we are now offering includes details for building

modifications to your planet landers which make them resistant to earthquakes.

I would like to buy the technology you described.

With the addition of these safety belts and heavy-duty shock absorbers

your lander occupants should be much safer when an untimely earthquake strikes.

The job is complete. Your landers are ready.

The technology we are now offering includes plans for adding

auto-tracking modules which improve the aim of all your weapons.

I would like to buy the technology you described.

You are preparing for a mighty battle, eh?

Well, let me give you some advice.

You should consider using multiple Tracking modules, since this will greatly improve your aim

however, never add more than three to your ship. Any more would be useless.

Also, be aware that Tracking modules use significant amounts of energy

and you will want to add dynamo modules to your ship to keep your firing rate up to snuff.

The technology we are now offering includes plans for adding

improvements to your planet landers which make them resistant to inclement planet weather.

I would like to buy the technology you described.

A little superconductive spray-paint and Presto!

Your lander can sustain a direct hit by a lightning bolt

without crisping the passengers inside... usually.

Since the job is so easy that a nymph could do it

I expect all your landers will be treated in less than an hour.

The technology we are now offering is everything you need to know to assemble

modifications to your planet landers which make them resistant to planetary hot-spots.

I would like to buy the technology you described.

With these new ablative-plasma heat shields, your crew will be substantially safer on hot worlds

but like all our lander modifications, this protection is not perfect, so remain cautious.

Since the changes to your landers are straightforward

your landers should be fitted with the heat shields by the time you return to your ship.

The technology we are now offering is plans for building

'Hellbore Cannons', a weapon much more destructive than a simple blaster.

I would like to buy the technology you described.

Captain, just a suggestion!

Hellbore Cannons are energy gulpers, so unless you want to have a long delay between shots

I would suggest you add Dynamos or even Shiva Furnaces to your ship.

What are Shiva Furnaces, you ask? We'll get to that in just a moment.

The technology we are now offering includes details on how to develop

the Shiva Furnace modules we were just discussing.

These units generate energy for your combat batteries

twice as fast as your standard dynamos.

I would like to buy the technology you described.

I am certain you will appreciate this new module, Captain!

With it you should be able to destroy and devastate twice as fast as before.

Commander, that is the limit of the new technology we can offer you.

If I may say so, you have been an excellent customer. Thank you!

I do not want to purchase any more technology.

Would you like to purchase anything else?

What else would you like to buy?

I am done buying, for now.

Very well then.

Goodbye, Trade Master.

It has been a pleasure dealing with you, Captain.

We look forward to your next visit.

I shall be leaving now.

This purchase requires {y} Credits; unfortunately

Your present balance is {x} Credits.

Yes sir, fill 'er up, right away!

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